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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Wednesday May 01, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/05/01 · 05:45

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May Day! May Day! May Day!

I don’t have any personal emergency to report. I just know that when you say “May Day” in the movies, you have to say it three times.

Same as if you direct a military-style operation to “Go!” or “Move!” Three times, or it doesn’t count.

Commanding the military in the movies, it turns out, is a lot like playing Simon Says. You’ve got to know the magic words and how to say them.

Not that much different from Congressional procedure, though, if you think about it!

And with Greg Dworkin scheduled to return today, there’s a pretty good chance he’ll make me think about it.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Tuesday April 30, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/30 · 05:45

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Last day of April!

That doesn’t mean anything in particular, I guess. But it’s a Tuesday, so that makes it a Joan McCarter day, which is meaningful indeed!

I mean, WTF are they doing in the Capitol these days, anyway? And did they ever liberate all those appliances, or what?

Meanwhile, I now see that we can’t let ourselves get too carried away. Because the sun rose in the East today, we’re… under the cloud of a mass shooting. And I’m not talking about Kristi Noem’s murder pit, either. Nor was it any of the super-dangerous protesters the cops are donning battle gear to confront.

it was a nut with a high-powered rifle. Who could’ve guessed?

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Monday April 29, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/29 · 05:45

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We’re back to Monday!

Funny how this keeps happening.

TFG is still on trial. Most of the college kids protesting are still college kids. They’re certainly still protesting, either way.

And Greg Dworkin is still paying attention to the news. Which is great!

Oh, and the news people were news this weekend, too. It was the big White House Correspondents' Association dinner this weekend, and fewer people seemed to care about it than ever before. Which is also great!

That’s enough to get started with. So let’s get this last April week underway!

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Friday April 26, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/26 · 05:45

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It’s Friday, which means it’s all on me today.

Well, me and the collection of articles written by people who’ve actually done some reporting, organized their thoughts, and written them down.

Well, me, the writers, and you.

Well, me, the writers, you, and the world full of activity we’ll be discussing.

There. That sums it up, I think. Me, alone, in “KITM World HQ” on one end, and the whole, wide world on the other.

With you in between, hopefully staying one step ahead of everybody else you’ll be talking to this weekend.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Thursday April 25, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/25 · 05:45

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It’s Thursday, and all of a sudden, we’ve got the weekend creeping up on us!

Greg Dworkin gets one more shot at planting a few more seeds for you to think about between now and Monday.

Thursday also means TFG’s back in court, and ready to ruin his lawyer’s lives even further.

It’s hard not to be distracted by the steady stream of insanity being live-tweeted from the courtroom, though.

So maybe we won’t bother trying not to be!

OK, maybe a little bit. There’s lots of fascinating stuff we could be telling you about. And some of it is even not about farts.

Some.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Wednesday April 24, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/24 · 05:45

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It’s Wednesday! Happy Passover! Again! This will go on for some time.

Like TFG’s criminal trial in New York City!

Greg Dworkin keeps trying to watch other things, but like the rest of us, is strangely compelled to watch him and yet another battery of attorneys screw things up.

Aid to Ukraine — and Taiwan! — should be on its way by now, as the Senate wrapped up business on those measures yesterday.

And, Murdery Traitor Greene’s influence continues to wane.

All in all, not bad for a mid-week check-in!

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Tuesday April 23, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/23 · 05:45

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It’s Tuesday! Happy Passover!

Maybe we should try to keep the levity to a minimum, on account of the prohibition against leavening.

Joan McCarter will stop by to let us know who and what is and isn’t working on Capitol Hill.

But first, 90 minutes of live updates on God’s 11th plague: Donald Trump.

I was originally going to say it was Trump’s flatulence. But I stopped typing suddenly, and realized the sentence was really already complete.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Monday April 22, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/22 · 05:45

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Happy Monday! TFG’s trial starts in earnest today, with opening arguments!

Plus, the whole world knows we were right, now, and the “F” in TFG has taken on a new meaning!

But seriously, this is a criminal trial. Wipe that smirk off your face!

Greg Dworkin will join us with his usual collection of weekend news, commentary and other assorted content of interest. But I don’t think he’s going to be able to distract us entirely from the new “F” term.

I mean, come on! How funny is that?

Sure, there are more important things in the world. There are more important things in that courtroom, even.

It’s just funny that a gas mask now counts as one of them.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Friday April 19, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/19 · 05:45

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It’s Friday! And TFG has got a jury! That was pretty fast! But there are still alternates to select.

Which is fine. Our attention needs to turn elsewhere. Specifically, all the stories we haven’t been able to turn our attention to because something funny or karmic was happening to Trump.

But that’s what Fridays are for.

We often get sidetracked and don’t use them that way, but that’s what they’re for.

And we are here for it.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Thursday April 18, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/18 · 05:45

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It’s Thursday, so I guess we’re back on for the TFG trial!

Maybe I’m getting greedy, but I’d really love to hear more about having anti-Trump social media postings read aloud in front of him in the court room!

But naturally, that won’t be all we’re talking about. In fact, it probably can’t even be any of what we’re talking about, because it’ll be going on while we’re doing the show. We won’t know the best parts until Friday.

That’s what we have Greg Dworkin for. He’ll get us started talking about the things we do know, not just waiting for something new and bad to happen to Trump, so that we can enjoy it after the German style. I say the German style, on account of schadenfreude being the only word I knew that adequately described the situation.

But then I learned the word epicaricacy. So we can celebrate in English, too, if you’re more comfortable that way.

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Wednesday April 17, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/17 · 05:45

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It’s Wednesday, and I have to tell you, TFG’s criminal trial keeps getting better and better! And we’re only in jury selection! Who would have guessed?

The genius strategy of trying to establish the bias of potential jurors against Trump by examining their social media activity has really been paying off. For us!

No, you can’t just say a juror’s biased. You have to show it. And that has meant, for starters, that Donald J. Trump is now the first former president in American history to have to sit by and view Facebook videos that say he’s “dumb as f*¢k” during his own criminal trial!

This is pretty good!

Greg Dworkin is no doubt enjoying it just as much as the rest of us. But on top of that, he’s also actually watched some other news, and will let us know what those things were. A true American hero!

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David Waldman for Kagro in the Morning

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Tuesday April 16, 2024 · 5:45 AM PDT

2024/04/16 · 05:45

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Happy Tuesday!

Trump is already miserable in court, and falling asleep!

Though that may be the most relatable thing he’s ever done.

Still, he totally sucks! Right?

Back on Capitol Hill, things are heating up! But not because global tensions and outright war threaten the international order. It’s because global tensions and outright war threaten the international order in the face of an approaching recess!

Joan McCarter will give us her best guesses as to what they will and won’t try to address before they break. No guarantees on whether their attempts amount to anything, though.

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