Sometime in June, The U.S. Supreme Court, nine men and women, shall decide if same-sex couples should have the same rights as everyone else does; the right to marry. The argument before the court and some of the questions the justices asked makes me wonder if this ideologically divided court has to propensity to make that decision, without prejudice. Why doesn’t LGBT people have the right to the same rights as other Americans and why is it such a difficult decision to make in the first place? What basic rights does the Constitution give me if not the right to equality?
I am too old and set in my ways to care about walking up the aisle with another man. Perhaps, if I was even twenty years younger, my answer may be different. Still, hypothetically speaking, I do not like the idea that a majority of voters should have the right to decide if I should have the same rights as they do.
A majority in America now supports gay marriage and that’s wonderful. That means that LGBT people have opened up the hearts of most Americans to realize that we deserve to be happy, or even unhappy, with the freedom to marry the person of our choosing. Still, majority or not, they should not have the right to decide for my gay brothers and sisters or myself, our constitutional right to equal protection and treatment under the law.
Some Americans believe that states should have the right to decide if gay people can get married in each state and if those states should want to recognize same-sex marriages from other states. So what they are saying, LGBT members should have their rights limited to certain states and certain states should be able to override the federal constitutional right to equal treatment under the law.
So if I live in Oklahoma – which I do – and Oklahoma lawmakers or voters – one or the other, does not matter – decides that they do not like the idea of gay people getting married in that state and so as a gay person living in Oklahoma, I will need to get up and move to another state. That is if I am to enjoy the same rights as other Americans. Even if Oklahoma decides to recognize my marriage from another state, I still must get up and drive or fly to another state, no matter how far that might be, and all my wedding guest must do the same, just so I can enjoy the same rights as other Americans. My question is; how is that equal?
Then there are those who say it is all about the children. They believe that children should be brought up with both a father and mother and a same-sex relationship cannot provide that. In other words, marriages should only be allowed with the ideal family setting in mind. Millions of children grow up in single-parent homes and tens of thousands grow up in foster care, being passed from one family to the next. Then tens of thousands of children grow up in abusive homes with fathers and/or mothers who are alcoholics or drug addicts or they’re just plain mean, physically or verbally abusive to their children. But hey, let’s not let gays get married because every marriage should be about the ideal mommy and daddy situation. By all means, let’s protect the children from those non-idealistic family situations. We’ve been doing such a wonderful job at it up to this point after all. Spare me the sentiment please.
I do know that there are thousands of children who are adopted by gay couples who otherwise would grow up in foster care and never really know any real family life, if it hadn’t been for that gay couple. Many of those who don’t want same-sex couples to raise children also don’t like abortion. Instead they would rather see children grow up in homes where they’re possibly unwanted and neglected, or end up in foster care, never knowing any kind of a true family life.
The religious issue about marriage has been debated and debated to death within social media. Religious people believe marriage should be according to the Bible and non-religious people believe marriage should only be a civil ceremony and have nothing to do with religion.
The thing is, for me, if I wanted to get married – which I don’t - it would be not only a civil ceremony but also a religious one. I believe in God. I believe that if I loved a man enough to marry him, then God would sanction that marriage. I would want a ceremony in a church. I would want it in a church that accepted my marriage and performed by a minister that approved of my relationship but I definitely would want it in a church. That should be each individual’s right; to have a civil ceremony or a religious ceremony, just the same as heterosexuals have that choice.
So yes, it is about choices. Americans have a choice to marry or not to marry. Americans have a right to pursue their own happiness any way they see fit, as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. How they wish to get married should be up to each couple, depending on their religious beliefs or non-religious beliefs. They should not be told they can do it this way or that way, but not the same way as heterosexuals can.
Religious people have a right to believe any way they want. They can believe that gay marriage is wrong. They can go to churches that support their belief. They can refuse to accept gay people in their church and refuse to marry same-sex couples; that’s their right as Americans. However, they do not have the right to impose their beliefs on me. They do not have the right to tell any gay person or me we cannot enjoy the same rights as them.
No voter or voters in America can decide for me and my gay brothers and sisters our right to equality because of someone else’s religious beliefs. It does not matter if it has been this way as long as history was recorded or what it says in the Bible, the Quran, the Torah or any other religious book. The Constitution says we have a constitutional right to equality and that’s all that matters.
Once the question has been asked, by the U.S. Supreme Court or any court in the land or any lawmaking body in the land: Should gay Americans have a right to equality as all other Americans do, even in marriage? The answer is resoundingly yes, without a doubt. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.